How Many People Do You Have?

Souls = Cheeseburgers

I saw this list thanks to The Consumerist Blog. It was originally posted over at the Revitalize Your Church blog.

Percentage of McDonald’s franchises that did not sell a hamburger last year: 0%

Percentage of Ace Hardware Stores that did not sell a hammer last year: 0%

Percentage of Kaybee Toy Stores that did not sell a toy last year: 0%

Percentage of Salvation Army Outlets that did not help a needy person last year: 0%

Percentage of State Universities that did not educate a student last year: 0%

Percentage of airlines that did not fly a plane last year: 0%

Percentage of Wal Mart’s that did not sell merchandise last year: 0%

Percentage of Methodist Churches that did not receive a member by profession of faith last year: 43%

The Consumerist Blog wrote :

We’re amazed that we - atheists - have to point out the distinction: souls are precious things. You don’t fucking count them like profit. It really bugs the crap out of us that so many religious people view their own religion so frivolously as to compare it to McDonald’s or think there should be a lesson learned in a successful Rodeo Burger marketing campaign. Numbers shouldn’t count in religion: like in shopping, it should be the individuals who matter, not the aggregate of souls saved.

Sometimes it seems like such a cynical, contemptuous outlook on Christianity could only come from a Christian.

Having been on the “inside” as a pastor’s wive and an attendee at many pastor conferences and meetings, I will tell you the first question pastors ask of each other upon meeting is, “How many people do you have?”

It is the ranking system of the church. The more people you have, the better you are. The better you are, the better you get treated and the more say you have in how things are done. Bottom line - money talks. More people = more money.

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