Frasch Ideas—Examine, Inquire, Explore

My Job Search part 4

• Posted by Theresa on June 3rd, 2006 filed in Responsibility, Goals, Choices, Goal-Free Living

Right after I wrote this entry below, I had my conversation with Stephen Shapiro author of Goal-Free Living. I am both clearer and less focused (if that makes any sense) on what I will do. Read about my conversation with Stephen Shapiro author of Goal-Free Living here.

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Right now you’re stuck. You’re in a rut. You feel tired, frustrated and completely fed-up. When you’re in “overwhelm”, it’s difficult to find your way out. Coming from such a negative place, your solutions are almost certain to be reactive (not proactive) and defensive (not open). Everything seems too hard or too complicated or useless. And you’re back in that “devil-you-know” situation.

Wow! How did she know? That is exactly how I feel about being in this job-searching position again. It seems like I have been stuck here forever: trying to figure out what I want to/can do. It is trying to get those two things to match up that is the problem.

Some random thoughts/questions:

*Do I know what I want to do?
*I want to be a speaker/writer/coach/put on seminars
*I am tired of wishing for that and not seeing it come true
*If I could figure out my niche/specialty I could make things happen
*Or could I?
*What direction would my life take if I didn’t have to work?

My assignment from Joan Schramm:

*Take care of yourself.
*Identify and remove things in your life that drain your energy.
*Add things to your life that make you feel good.

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I feel so much more at ease now, since I fully understand Goal-Free Living. I don’t feel like I have to find a job that is the road-map to my Life Purpose and Goals. I can take a job that I like and that I will be good at and still be fulfilled by having and being an impact in whatever I do: on the job, with my friends, at Toastmasters, in my Book Clubs, on my blog, with my family, with new people I meet, etc.

I gave a speech at my Toastmasters club on Thursday all about where I was:

Imagine walking through a mucky, muddy, smelly swamp. Each step you take it becomes harder and harder to pull your feet out of the mud. The mud grabs you and tries to pull you in. Finally you are so tired you fell as though you cannot take another step. All you want to do is sit down and let the mud suck you in,

That was me. For 10 years I have been trying to reach my ultimate goal. I read all the big names: Brian Tracy, Anthony Robbins, Jack Canfield. I listened to their tapes. I did the exercises, I journaled, I wrote, I even blogged about my experience through Jack Canfield’s book The Success Principles. During those 10 years I felt excited, frustrated, exhilarated, frustrated, ebullient, frustrated, devastated, depressed.

I was burned out. I was tired. I was angry with Jack and mad at myself.

In November I finally took a job I didn’t want because I had to have a job and try as I might, I couldn’t find one that would point me in the direction I wanted.

I was miserable. I was embarrassed. I was reduced to selling furniture. I stuck it out for six months because I was mentally exhausted and depressed, too tired to figure out anything else.

And then a month ago we found out our store was closing. Part of me was glad - I knew I wouldn’t have to do it much longer. But now I was back in the place of having to get another job, trying to make sense of my career, my vision, my hopes.

I felt trapped, encumbered by my goals, I was ready to sit down in the swamp, I wanted a way out. And then I read about Goal-Free Living - it felt like a breath of fresh air. I bought the book because I was intrigued and I wasn’t sure it was possible or even something that I’d want to do. After all, it went against everything I had been taught.

Well the rest is history and you can read about it here in my entry about my conversation with Stephen Shapiro in case you missed it before.

I am enjoying my time off for right now and getting lots of things done, meeting with people, visiting my family and relaxing a bit while looking for my next opportunity to impact those around me.

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