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7 Habits - Habit 1

• Posted by Theresa on December 20th, 2006 filed in Responsibility, Book Review

Just recently, right before I moved, I took a one day 7 Habits workshop given by FranklinCovey. The workshop strongly encouraged us to do something for each of the seven habits for the next seven days. I knew it would be pointless to start while I was in the middle of moving, so I put it in my planner to start this week.

I have set out to study each of the Habits for one week, as recommended in the 3 day Signature class, instead of doing the one per day. I have both workbooks and CDs that came with the workbooks. So each week I will review the written material I have and listen to the appropriate part of the CD and do the “commitment” from the class.

Habit 1 is “Be Proactive.” which means having the freedom to choose and increasing your influence. Proactive people focus on what they can influence and don’t worry about what they can’t. Being proactive increases your influence, creates more self-awareness, builds greater initiative, and allows you to become the creative force in your life. Proactive people pause to allow themselves the freedom to choose their response based on principles and desired results. Their freedom to choose expands as they wisely use the space between stimulus and response.

You can tell a proactive person by their language. Instead of hearing “I have to,” “there’s nothing I can do about that,” “they won’t allow that,” “he makes me so mad,” “it’s not my fault,” “I can’t do anything about it,” you will instead hear things like, “let’s look at our alternatives,” “let’s try a different approach,” “there’s got to be a way,” “I choose,” “I prefer,” “let’s look at all of our options.”

I don’t know when I first became aware of this concept, but it’s been quite a few years ago, especially the language of reactivity versus the language of proactivity. Because it is common vernacular, I still say, “I have to go to work” and “I have to go to the dentist.” But I know I really don’t have to. I could choose not to go to work for the day or ever again. No one is forcing me. I could choose not to go to the dentist and take the risk of my teeth falling out over time.

I knew somebody once who acted almost totally out of the reactive side of things. It was never his fault, there was never anything he could do about it, his hands were tied, he couldn’t because…, it’s just the way things were, nothing would ever change. This fellow couldn’t even “catch a cold” on his own, he always blamed someone else - “You gave me your cold.”

People like this are hard to have a relationship with, whether at work, at play, or at home, nothing is ever their fault and even if it was there is nothing they can do about it.

The one area I am going to work on is this: sometimes I react instead of responding intelligently when somebody just does something that should (in my opinion) be a group decision. For instance, I might react by putting it back where it was, buying another one, getting mad, etc. I am going to try to be proactive in these situations by asking why, let’s discuss some options, what are some ways we could all be happy.

I’ll let you know how it goes. By the way, I have to go to the dentist in a few minutes and then I have to go to work .

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