Goal-Free Living

I’ve been thinking a lot about the book Goal-Free Living by Stephen Shapiro. Not so much about the book itself, but why it appealed to me so much that I had to have it right now.




I am a goal maker. I have been ever since I read a book about it way back when I was in my early 20’s. Since then I have read book after book, and listened to tape after tape, and refined my goal making process. I’ve used paper lists, computer generated ones, my pocket PC, and computer programs.





I’ve tried this method and that method throughout the years. I’ve based my process on Brian Tracy, Anthony Robbins, Hyram Smith, Franklin Covey, DayTimer, GoalPro and most recently Jack Canfield and his Success Principles. Sometimes it just helps to mix it up and try new things for motivation.




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I’ve had some successes and some failures. Some failures I’ve had year after year: losing weight (it seems that one is always on my list - although I have had some recent success there), my dream career of being a speaker for SkillPath, saving money.

It seems like the more immediate things that I have more control over come about. Maybe I just want them more and/or there isn’t too much standing in my way. Because when I put it that way, I realize I certainly have control over how much I weigh and what kind of shape I am in. I have control over how much money I save and invest. The pleasure of eating or spending right now must mean more to me than the long term goal of being fit and healthy or financially secure in my retirement. More thoughts on that later.

I want to think about my career goals. Way back when I went to my first SkillPath Training through a flyer I received in the mail through work. SkillPath puts on very good training and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I thought to myself, I could see myself doing that. I made it a goal. Well here it is practically 10 years later and I still haven’t made it. And I’m not sure I want to anymore. I am tired of thinking about it.

I set myself goals to get there based on their requirements but their requirements have changed over the years. And a lot of the goals I set I didn’t do. I wanted to but the opportunities didn’t present themselves - like speaking before 500 people or getting paid for 10 speeches. I tried a lot of what seemed to be back door opportunities that never panned out wither, they just didn’t get me to where I wanted to be.

A few weeks ago when I was visiting my mom she said, “Hey miss goal-setter, what are your goals at your new job? Do you have any?”

I don’t. At least not long term ones. I just don’t have the energy to look into the future. And to think about striving for a goal right now seems impossible. I have been able to manage little mini-goals at work by the day and by the week, but I can’t project into the future. I don’t want to. I don’t want to be disappointed…again.

In our online book club we were discussing which was better - a carefully planned out life like Mark or just drifting along like Ivy. I wrote:

I prefer planned with flexibility. I like planning my days and my years, but I have come to the realization that plans change. I don’t like my plans to change and I usually resist, but that is life.




On vacations I love no plans and to just take things as they come. It is hard to plan life, there are just too many variables. So you can just go with the flow, or have a general idea of where you want to go, or make plans and try to execute them while remaining open and flexible to other opportunities, or plan your life to a tee and not be satisfied until it turns out exactly like you planned. I prefer planning with flexibility.





But giving it even more thought I think I don’t like planning my life in the big sense anymore. I am tired of being dissatisfied and failing. I think I want to stick with my basic tennents for life and be open, explore opportunities, learn from everything.

I want a life filled with creativity, writing, learning, teaching and motivation; a life filled with love, laughter and wellness; with plenty of time for solitude and plenty of time for friends and family.

That’s all I need.

I don’t have to plan out all the details. I will take it however I can get it. Like my part time adventure that starts next week - presenting educational programs to high school students on behalf of Fashion Institute of Design and Marketing.

I want to be in vacation mode - seeking out adventure, taking things as they come, relaxing in the freedom of the moment, trying new things, being free to be me.

That sounds so nice. Now if I could just add a palm tree and some sunshine to that thought…

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2 Responses to “Goal-Free Living”

  1. Beth Says:
    March 9th, 2006 at 2:08 pm

    I think that sounds like a wise way to live life. I’d say that’s my basic philosophy. Not to say that life still doesn’t have its disapointments but I think its the best way to get the most out of live and enoy it to its fullest. I hope that’s your experiance too, mom!

  2. Theresa Says:
    March 9th, 2006 at 6:14 pm

    Thanks Beth. I am enjoying the book now that I got that off my chest! I will be posting some thoughts from it soon.

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