Frasch Ideas—Examine, Inquire, Explore

Secret #8

• Posted by Theresa on May 9th, 2006 filed in Book Review, Goals, Goal-Free Living

Goal-Free Living: How to Have the Life You Want NOW!

Secret #8 Remain Detached

(Based on the book Goal-Free Living by Stephen Shapiro)

This is the secret I don’t quite get. The opening quote is by Doug Bush, former Chief Information Officer, Intel:

“Trying to be successful and achieve your goals is the surest way to be unsuccessful.”

I would love to hear Brian Tracy and Jack Canfield expound on that quote.

I can see, but not completely understand, the view Stephen takes when he says that being detached is not the same as being indifferent and that when you are detached you can enjoy the process without worrying about the results, and that it is better to attach to the present moment that you have control over than a moment in the future that you have no control over.

That all sounds good, but is it reality? One part of me wants to grasp that concept and hold onto it, willing it to be true. But another part of me doesn’t get it.

I understand that even if you don’t get to where you want you can still have fun on the journey. I understand that while waiting for the future to arrive that we can let the here and now slip away without enjoying the moment.

He says, “Detachment is a mindset that is not always easy to achieve.” I am feeling that at the moment.

“Have big , bold, aspirations, not achievable goals.” Goals are specific and measurable (something I have been trying to make work for most of my life). But having goals can set you up for failure since you can easily be discouraged by a lack of progress.

“Don’t try,” he says. “Trying too hard is the surest way of failing.” I know this is true in sales. The salesperson who is desperate because he has bills to pay and hasn’t been doing well, does even worse. But the salesperson who is already having a good month will continue to have one because the pressure is off and they are not desperate. Customers smell desperation.

Perhaps he sums it up best here when he says, “Being goal-free does not mean living without direction. It is not about abandoning your worldly goods and becoming a nomad. It is not existential despair. People who are goal-free have a clear sense of direction as dictated by their internal compass and their aspiration. Goal-free individuals move forward with conviction and intention, but not attachment. They are driven by passion and intuition rather than ego and plans. Discover your passions and play full out.”

So Stephen (or anybody else), do you have any advice for me? My aspiration is to teach/train/inspire/motivate but I can’t seem to get it right. Either I pick the wrong company, or they don’t pay enough to make it full time, or I can’t even get the job.

I feel frustrated because I have to have a money-earning job but I want to fulfill my aspirations. I feel like I am running out of options. Do I just take another sales job, furniture or otherwise, or do I hold out for what I want. Do I take something, anything in the meantime, detach myself from the outcome of my aspirations and see what happens?

Comments welcome.

Technorati Tags : detachment, attachment, jobs, employment